Sometimes we only focus on one definition without realizing a word’s myriad applications in our daily speech. In recent years, we’ve been conditioned to think “give” means material goods: giving gifts, money, stuff. But we use the word and idea of give in countless ways without ever noticing our boundless generosity.
I give up!
I gave her so many chances, I’m just not giving in this time.
I give her another month on this job before she gives me an ulcer.
I give you my word, it will give me great pleasure to see what gives when the boss sees how she gives new meaning to the word useless.
In an economy based on consumerism, suddenly products like tooth whitener for teeth no one will see, designer jeans you can’t flaunt, floating picnic tables with no guests and fruit shaped silicone coasters (whatever!), have become irrelevant. Some of us are actually getting rid of stuff, literally giving it away. As we purge, we may realize we also no longer need that potato ricer, the tennis racquet we haven’t touched in ten years, or the gold lamé jacket from our disco days. (Some things are harder to give up than others.) And we don’t need to buy another LL Bean jacket or orchid pot or giclée of a Tuscan sunset. If we don’t return to “normal” soon, stores and online merchants will drown in low rise yoga pants, Subaru Outbacks, wedding china and Louis Vuitton bags. I find myself thinking about Black Friday, the societal pressure to buy more stuff, and how to find a new way to give. Wouldn’t it be nice if I could inspire the quality of “thanks -giving” by actually inspiring gratitude? I have decided to start with my family.
To one sister with whom I often compete, I’m giving up my need to be right. And to my youngest sister I give my word that I’ll never try to give her advice, (a double give that will be hard to fulfill!) I can’t wait till I tell my husband Ron I am officially giving in on our forty-five year battle as to who loads the dishwasher better. I am spilling with generosity.
Neurologist Antonio Damasio, in his book Descarte’s Error, wrote that altruism is a neurological survival strategy. When we give to others, they love us more and so therefore probably won’t kill us. It’s nice to know that we are wired to give.
What would it be like if all of us intentionally gave up, gave in, and gave promises we actually kept? It’s interesting to note that if you trace the etymology of our English word “give”, that it travels eastward where the root word actually means “take”, and finally lands in India where the Sanskrit root means “hand”. When I give up or give in, my hands are open, and when I give you my word, I give you my hand. And when someone smiles at me and says, “I’ve got to hand it to you, you are awesome,” I feel like I’ve received a gift more precious than a pair of skinny jeans. What do you say, shall we give it a go?
Body language expert, Lavinia Plonka
has taught The Feldenkrais Method for over 25 years.
For more information,
visit her at
laviniaplonka.com