Proactive Women’s Health

by | Aug 28, 2020 | Asheville, Health, Women

As women, we are usually the caretakers of our families.  Husbands, children, elderly parents, and sometimes other family members depend upon us to help them with their daily needs.  Employers expect us to fulfill our job requirements. The demands that are made upon us often leave us with little time to take care of our own needs.  We become emotionally stressed and physically exhausted, and our health suffers as a result.

Taking Care Of Our Health Must Be a Priority

We must become proactive in taking care of ourselves, and our own emotional and physical health must become a priority.  As women, we must educate ourselves about what we must do to retain our own optimal well-being.  Our attitudes and actions can determine whether we struggle through life or enjoy a vital, healthy and rewarding existence.

Having a regular healthcare provider in whom you have confidence is an important first step, but educating yourself on health issues that may affect you can alert you to early warning signs that may need addressed before your yearly checkup is due, or you have an emotional breakdown.  Research women’s health issues online, or through non-profit and government agencies.

Find a Reliable, Knowledgeable Health Care Provider

Bring research material with you when you visit your physician, and be prepared to ask questions.   And ask lots of questions!  You may want to know about the prescriptions your doctor gives: Is there a suitable generic?  What side effects may you expect?  Is there an alternative treatment that does not involve medication?  You may want to ask about follow-up treatments, the length of recovery time that may be expected, or other issues concerning your health.  A quality physician will take time to explain the results of tests, procedures and treatment options thoroughly, and answer any questions that you may have.

Being proactive in your health care involves more than just having a yearly physical check-up, and making healthy diet and lifestyle choices.  We must take responsibility for our own emotional health.  Having a positive mental attitude and managing stress in a healthy way has powerful anti-aging effects on our bodies.

Deal With Stress Realistically

Stress is a part of life that we can’t avoid but we can either allow it to manifest itself with physical and emotional symptoms, or we can take control of the situation when people, events, and situations make excessive demands upon us.  Setting realistic goals and determining whether there is anything we can do to change the situation can keep stress from taking over our lives.  Don’t sweat the small stuff, just let it slide!  Prioritize responsibilities instead of becoming overwhelmed with too much to do, and don’t be afraid to say no when you already have a full schedule.

Take a few minutes every day to de-stress!  Physical exercise is known to relieve stress.  A simple walk in the park will do, you don’t need to run a marathon!  Take a long, hot soak in the tub with your favorite bath oil after the kids are in bed.  Whatever it is that relaxes you, set aside a time each day when you can indulge in your favorite tension-relieving pastime.

Take Care of Your Inner Being

Our soul, our inner essence, is unique to each of us and requires nurturing to remain healthy.  It is our self-awareness, and defines the values by which we think, feel, and live.  Spiritual health can be found by tapping into a source of energy that brings us love, hope, optimism and empowerment.  Whatever our religious beliefs are, spirituality and physical health are linked.  A healthy spirit can reduce depression and self-destructive behaviors (smoking, drug and alcohol dependence, for example), boost the immune system, and create a more satisfying life.

By having a proactive attitude about our physical, mental, and spiritual health we can create healthier and more fulfilling  lives for ourselves and may also inspire our family, especially our daughters, to adopt this attitude for themselves.

Hold On to Summer with These Outdoor Exercise Activities

by | Aug 28, 2020 | Asheville, Autumn, Recreation, Women

If you like exercising outside during the summer months, here’s some good news: when the season ends, you don’t have to move your workout indoors. Cooler weather, colorful scenery, and fewer crowds can make exercising outside in autumn the most enjoyable workouts of the year. Try any of these outdoor fitness activities this fall and let a little summer back into your exercise routine.

Practice yoga outdoors. Hot yoga at the studio may be all the rage, but practicing yoga outside is refreshingly peaceful–and scenic. Yoga classes are offered at all kinds of outdoor venues, including wineries, rooftops, and stadiums. Check your local paper or look online for a class that piques your interest. Then enjoy the crisp, cool air while you work on toning, strength, and balance. Namaste to that!

Hit the lake. Don’t let the cooler water temperatures keep you from enjoying some lake exercise in the fall. Throw on a wetsuit and have fun paddle boarding, water skiing, wakeboarding, or swimming–without all the boat and beach traffic of the summer. Of course, you don’t have to get in the lake to get exercise. Why not kayak, canoe, or row for a great way to work your biceps, shoulders, and core?

Go park hopping. Parks have a myriad of fitness activities at your disposal, and with the kids back at school, there’s more room for you to do what you like. Check out the trails, try inline skating, or bring your dog and toss the Frisbee. Whatever your fitness flavor, parks have it all in the fall. Don’t limit yourself to one park, though. Hop around, and get a different workout each time.

Tackle the chores. Did you put off doing chores this summer? There’s no better time than autumn to get them done–and get fit. Many fall outdoor chores, such as chopping wood, raking, and cleaning gutters, involve moderate to vigorous exercise. Besides getting a good workout, you’ll feel useful and productive. Just be sure to stretch, stay hydrated, and take breaks when needed.

Don’t let the end of summer change your exercise plans. Fall outdoor fitness can be even more fun than exercising outside in the summer. Take your pick of the season’s activities, and enjoy a great workout in the comfort and beauty of autumn.

How Sweet it is

How Sweet it is

by | Aug 28, 2020 | Acupuncture, Asheville, Healing, Women, yoga

Honey is a delectable treasure that has been enjoyed all over the world for centuries. Its delicious and nutritious properties have long been referred to as, “The Nectar of the Gods”, for very good reasons. Honey was so sacred and sensuous to the ancient Egyptians, that they used it as an offering to their gods, as did the ancient Greeks. The queen bee was the symbol for the goddess, Artemis, and it is said that Eros (Cupid), the God of Love, dipped his arrows in honey before shooting them into unsuspecting lovers. Its richness was so valued that ancient Egyptians used it as currency, and marriage vows included a husband’s promise to provide his new wife with honey.

The ancient Egyptians also had the earliest record of beekeeping, around 2400 BCE, and they discovered how to use smoke to calm bees (modern science shows that this practice inhibits the bees’ chemical communication and prevents them from panicking). In the United States, we celebrate National Honey Month in September, because it marks the end of the honey collection season for many beekeepers.

The intriguing Honeybee has been making honey by the same method for about 60 million years. The female worker bee certainly lives up to her “busy bee” status, by visiting 55-100 flowers on a single trip outside of the hive. In fact, she can fly up to 6 miles, at 15 miles per hour, to meet her quota. She works continuously to extract the sugary nectar from blossoms, and then stores it in her “honey stomach,” which is a separate feature of her digestive tract, before returning to the hive. Once she is home, the nectar is chewed and transferred between bees until the final product is made. The rich and golden honey is then stored in honeycomb cells, which are sealed off with a wax covering to keep it pure.

To make one pound of honey, approximately 768 bees in the colony must collectively visit 2 million flowers, and fly over 55,000 miles in their lifetime. The Honeybee is also a master pollinator, which keeps our environment fruitful and abundant. It is safe to say, without the Honeybee, our ecosystem would quickly unravel.

Nutrition Benefits

Honey has always been highly regarded for its healing properties and is thought to help with conditions such as sore throats, digestive disorders, skin problems, and hay fever.

According to the American Journal of Therapeutics, a large number of clinical studies have confirmed that broad-spectrum antimicrobial properties are present in honey, which may be attributed to its acidity (low pH), and the presence of bactericidal factors, such as hydrogen peroxide. Bees deposit hydrogen peroxide into the honey as they ​synthesize​ flower pollen. This could explain why, for centuries, various cultures have used honey in wound care, and as a natural antibiotic. It also explains why microorganisms rarely grow in honey, and sealed honey does not spoil, even after thousands of years!

The natural fruit sugars in honey, fructose and glucose, are quickly digested by the body, which is why it gives us a natural energy boost.

Honey’s ability to attract and retain moisture makes it an effective beauty treatment. It was even a part of Cleopatra’s daily beauty ritual.

Honey is one of the few foods that contains pinocembrin, an antioxidant associated with improved brain functioning.

It is commonly used as a way to relieve allergies. When a person eats local honey, they are thought to be ingesting local pollen. Over time, a person may become less sensitive to this pollen, a bit like an allergy shot.

Recipes

Hydrating Honey and Yogurt Facial Mask

Cleopatra’s most famous beauty secret was her ritual of bathing in milk and honey. Both of these ingredients soften the skin and leave you smelling  sweet. Make your own version by creating a honey and yogurt face mask.

Mix 1 Tsp of ​raw​ honey with 2 Tbsp of plain yogurt.

Apply to your face and let sit for 15 minutes. Use a warm washcloth
to wipe it off.

Honey Tonic to Soothe a Sore Throat

1 Tbsp lemon juice

2 Tbsp honey

1 cup or more of hot water

1 cinnamon stick

1 whole clove

Optional – You can always add a dash of whiskey for a Hot Toddy.

Sweet Honey Nut Bars

2 cups of your favorite nuts and seeds, chopped

1/2 cup unsweetened shredded coconut

1 tsp pure vanilla extract

1 tsp of cinnamon

1/2 cup of honey

Preheat the oven to 350°F and line an 8×8 baking pan with parchment paper, leaving the flaps over the sides, in order to lift the bars out of the pan, after they cool. Mix all the ingredients together in a large bowl. Spread the mixture into the prepared baking dish, pressing it down to reach all corners of the pan. Bake it in the oven for 15-20 minutes, watching carefully towards the end to be sure the honey isn’t burning. Remove it from the oven and let it cool on a wire rack for at least 30 minutes before cutting into squares.

*Honey should never be given to children under the age of one.

* Diabetics should watch their intake of honey, because it can raise their sugar levels.

Natasha Kubis is a licensed acupuncturist and certified yoga teacher.
For more information, visit acuwellhealth.com

Women Making Music

Women Making Music

by | Jul 31, 2020 | Asheville, Musician, Women

By Peggy Ratusz

There’s a lot not going on; but also, there’s more going on every week- concert, gig and show-wise in WNC. Ticketed virtual shows are on the rise. Drive-In style concerts are popping up! Breweries with outdoor spaces are booking small combos of musicians and a limited number of restaurant gigs are up for grabs again!

Artists are still releasing music. Musicians are still practicing; on their own and having social distant rehearsals to keep up their chops. I know it’s been a godsend for me, to meet up with my music pals to play an outdoor live stream or do an outdoor house concert. Venues hosting bands for recorded shows to stream at a later date are becoming more common as well. The creative juices are still flowing in the music industry and our scene at large is no exception.

The women, for sure, are still making music. Here’s a list of just a select few, out of literally hundreds of female, career musicians in our region, who haven’t allowed this Coronavirus to keep them down or out of the spotlight.

April Bennett struts across the hallowed ground of R&B, straddles and rides the rhythm and rhyme of Hip Hop and sails on the wings of Soul. Seamlessly blending her influences into a sound called April B. & the Cool, look for this trendsetting grove ingénue, this guitar slingin’ starlet, this elastic yet deliberate singer with a conscience, on the other side of the Cororna! aprilbmusic.com

Lo Wolf just came out with her debut full-length album she titled, Singe. Some tracks come with a suggested Parental Advisory for their disquieting use of the English language. She’s blunt, honest, unfiltered and extremely personal. This is a singer/songwriter who puts her money where her activism is. 90% of all the proceeds from the album will be endowed to Asheville Survival Program.
lowolfmusic.com
facebook.com/groups
AshevilleSurvivalProgram

Way back in April, local singer/songwriter, Kathryn O’Shea released a debut album too, that she calls January 9th, which is the date her father died in 2014. On her website she elaborates about the album and her father: “….on January 9th 2020, I recorded 10 of my songs in a vocal booth built out of the closet I shared with him in my childhood home. My brother, Michael recorded everything. That day, he sat right around where he used to sit to do homework when this now recording studio was his bedroom.”  Follow this link to support this amazing young artist, and purchase her
incredibly raw collection of songs:
kathrynoshea.net

One of the most prolific and sensitive singers and songwriters in our town is one Ms. CaroMia Tiller. She’s a staple in this town for a reason. And the reason is her stunning soul saturated vocals and reflective original songs. Her latest release, Green, is a compendium of a larger collection of her most inspired writings. It’s a project that she recorded at home and produced almost entirely on her own. Before the epidemic, fans and tourists flocked to her solo and ensemble gigs at places like 5 Walnut Wine Bar. If you’re “jonesing” for contemplative lyrics riding on gossamer melodies, this new CD is one for your library.  Here’s the link to stream/purchase this new record avl.mx/76s and to view a video of the title track, go here:
youtube.com/watch?v=RjkYrxCdaTc

Kimberly Cann, concert pianist and director of Piano Lab Studios, now called The Music Lab, is a former professor and currently a piano music instructor. Founded in 2010, Kimberly’s concept has thrived and now includes several locations in South Asheville, Hendersonville and Mills River. Cann and her staff have a simple and compelling mission statement: To provide the best quality education for pianists & musicians in the WNC region and beyond. To ensure that ALL students, regardless of age, background or economic status are afforded the opportunities & benefits that a well-rounded music education can bring. Though the crux of students is on hiatus due to Covid 19, the lab offers virtual lessons upon request. For more information, I urge you to visit her website here: pianolabasheville.com/about

Cynthia McDermott is a fabulously innovative and so too, nostalgia-infused creative. She brandishes her mandolin like it was her heart on her sleeve. Open, liberated, unscripted is how I’d describe her playing style! Her singing voice is solid, lilting, twangy, edgy and pitch perfect – whatever the piece she’s interpreting needs, she brings it. The Pimps of Pompe, Miss Cindy & the The Knockin’ Boots, or when she plays “solo Cindy”, she’ll be back on a regular basis after all “this” is said and done. You might catch her on a virtual live stream until then. Just visit her website to find out: mandocynmusic.com/#miss-cindy-section

Viola teacher Anastasia “An Ya” Yarbrough explains her approach: “I talk with the student to assess their interests and playing level. If they are beginners, we start with the feel of the instrument, with posture, and later with hearing the pitches and associating what they hear with the movement of their arms and fingers. Once the student is comfortable with all of this, we move into simple tunes – first by ear, then by notation.”  Yarbrough knows what she’s talking about! A sessions, orchestral and ensemble violist and singer, An Ya’s repertoire of accomplishments and collaborations is full and impressive. Reach her through the Asheville Music School. Their live streaming music session’s page is up and running: ashevillemusicschool.org/teachers/anastasia-an-ya-yarbrough

Heidi Holton has made a name for herself in the international Blues community. So much so, that Rory Block produced her sophomore release in 2018 which critics called “a stunning step forward.” Well versed in slide and finger pickin’style guitar, this tom-boy beauty has been touched by the likes of Mississippi John Hurt and Memphis Minnie. Before the state’s stay-at-home mandate was enforced, Heidi was touring regularly. We’re lucky when she schedules a show more close to home. She’ll tour regularly again, I assure you. And when she does, you’ll know it by keeping her website on your rolodex: heidiholton.com/home

Carolina Music Planner was founded by premiere cellist, Megan Leigh Johnson. It’s a one-stop shop for all you grooms and brides, especially, to sample any number of and configuration of stellar string ensembles. Megan’s expertise and experience, booking and performing with her extremely accomplished roster of instrumentalists has elicited a plethora of accolades you can read on her beautiful website. carolinamusicplanner.com/media

Singer Songwriter and guitarist, Ellen Trnka along with her partner, guitarist and vocalist, Howie Johnson, venture out to mostly breweries in and around Hendersonville to play music where social distancing is enforced. Their simpatico is refreshing and familiar, what with a playlist that ranges from folk, to blues to jazz to country. There’s a sweet spattering of original material in there as well. A delightful respite from sitting at home in your pajamas, this duo will bring you out of the dull-drums. Ellen’s facebook page: facebook.com/ellen.trnka

So there are just a few of the fine feathered females who are doin’it to it; helping to keep live music alive in Western North Cacka-lackie. Next month, I’ll delve into a few more, including Rebecca O’Quinn, Jesse Barry, Debrissa McKinney, Kelli Redman, Karen Corn, Melissa and Kayla Mckinney, Dulci Ellenberger and more!

Until then, be safe and support live, local music online or at a safe distance in person!

Peggy Ratusz is a vocal coach, song interpreter, and songwriter.
For vocal coaching email her at [email protected]

Managing Stress Through Self Care

Managing Stress Through Self Care

by | Jul 30, 2020 | Acupuncture, Asheville, Stress, yoga

By Natasha Kubis,

Most clients that end up on my treatment table for acupuncture are dealing with some level of stress and its unhealthy impact. Often, “stress” is not listed as their chief complaint, but symptoms like insomnia, body tension, upset stomach, feelings of anxiety, or depression, are of primary concern. In fact, I have never performed a session that did not include acupuncture points for calming the mind. With the average American working 44 hours per week, it can be said that we live in a homo industrious landscape.  Chronic stress can result from the challenge of balancing our work and home life, as well as our relationships with family and friends. Prioritizing our own self care rarely makes the cut. This imbalance is a major trigger for ongoing stress accumulation in the body, which can cause or exacerbate serious health problems, including psychological disorders, sleep issues, digestive conditions, a weakened immune system, and cardiovascular issues.

The stress response in the body is meant to be an innate survival tactic, reserved for dangerous situations. This response allows the body to prepare to face a threat or flee to safety. In these situations, your pulse quickens, you breathe faster, your muscles tense, and your brain uses more oxygen and increases activity—all functions aimed at survival and in response to stress. In our modern, workaholic society, long-term stress is all too common for most individuals, and as we try to keep up with daily demands, the body never receives a clear signal to return to normal and relaxed functioning.

I experienced the impact of chronic stress firsthand while living in NYC. During that time, I was averaging 40 clients a week as a solo practitioner, while traveling between Brooklyn and Manhattan to my home visits and offices. I would leave my apartment at 7:30am and get home by 10pm, eating most of my meals on the subway, or inhaling them as I was briskly walking (which probably looked more like jogging to non-New Yorkers) between appointments. My mind and body felt like they were always running, similar to the White Rabbit in Alice in Wonderland. I was so burnt out from all that rushing around  that I would fall into bed from exhaustion only to find myself lying wide awake and unable to sleep at night. It got to the point where feeling both tired and wired was my “normal” state, and I learned to function on 0-4 hours of sleep. I was treating people to help them decompress from their stress, and at the same time, I was running on empty. My insomnia worsened, as did my anxiety, heart palpitations, stomach pains, joint pains, and then voila . . . autoimmune issues came to the surface, and I was down for the count. My body was yelling at me to stop and pay attention to what it needed. My focus was always on the needs of my clients, my family, my business, and my friends. I had reached a moment in my life where I had no other choice but to include myself on my own priority list, and take care of my body and mind in order to continue to be of service to my community. For me, those changes involved moving to a more peaceful living environment, incorporating more yoga into my week, using talk therapy as a place to vent, ensuring that I stopped work by 6pm to create a healthy work schedule, carving out time for a proper meal, creating healthy boundaries, and working on improving my sleep patterns. Doing these things not only made me feel better and alleviated most of my symptoms; it also reenergized me, and made me a better support to the people in my life.

August is National Wellness Month and a good reminder to take time each day to nurture our mental and physical well being in order to be the best versions of ourselves. Research has shown that self care can help manage stress and promote happiness. Here are 31 ideas to consider as wellness exercises for the month of August. It is good practice to help you incorporate self care into your daily life, all year. After all, we should be climbing the mountain of life with ease, not carrying its weight on our shoulders.

31 Days of Wellness

•  Be grateful. Think of everything beautiful in your life, and say
“thank you”.

•  Take 10 minutes to stretch when you wake up, and then again before bed.

•  Go outside for a walk or a hike for 10 minutes, or an entire afternoon.

•  Make a pot of tea with your favorite flowers like dried roses, lavender, chamomile, or chrysanthemum and inhale the fragrant aromas while you sip it.

•  Have some time alone, even if it is just 10 minutes.

•  Drink a full 8 glasses of water.

•  Meditate for 20 minutes.

•  Turn off social media for the day and be present.

•  Take a luxurious bath with Epsom salts and bath oils.

• Give yourself a foot massage before bed.

•  Experiment with a new workout.

•  Organize your calendar, and carve out time for your needs too.

•  Turn on music and dance around your house.

•  Spend an hour with a novel.

•  Cook up a veggie-filled soup and freeze leftovers, so you have meals ahead.

•  Make a healthy smoothie with veggies, fruits, and protein (I like
a scoop of almond butter).

•  Give your mind a workout with a crossword puzzle or a fun game (Scrabble is my personal fave).

•  Spend some time journaling your thoughts, writing a poem, or short story.

•  Get in bed without your phone by 9 p.m. and sleep well.

•  Go a whole day without foods that have added sugar.

•  Spend 20 minutes with a heating pad on your neck, shoulders, or back.

•  Spend 10 minutes with deep, focused breathing.

•  Try drawing, coloring, or painting with relaxing music.

•  Add a green veggie to every meal or snack.

•  Have a meal, tea, or a glass of wine with a friend.

•  Try to focus on one thing at a time. Be present in the moment.

•  Try a yoga class or any class of your choice.

•  Treat yourself to fresh flowers.

•  Clean out and organize a closet or a room.

• Take yourself on a picnic with a view.

•  Find a beautiful spot to watch the sunrise or sunset.

Natasha Kubis is a licensed acupuncturist and certified yoga teacher.
For more information, visit acuwellhealth.com

Grief in the Time of Covid

Grief in the Time of Covid

by | Jul 30, 2020 | Asheville, Covid 19, Death

The pandemic of the novel coronavirus, known by the name Covid-19, has brought such change to our lives that grief is one of the most common responses. Grief at the loss of loved ones, our way of life, our ability to move freely and enjoy the company of friends and family. I’ve experienced those moments of grief but my grief this year is much more personal.

My husband Sam of 42+ years was diagnosed with ALS (also known as Lou Gehrig’s disease) in the fall of 2018. No treatment was available although we explored and researched every nutritional option we could find. Unfortunately, the disease quickly took its toll over the year and he quietly passed away just a few days before Thanksgiving 2019. There were a few comforting things about his passing–and we needed to be comforted. The disease took more and more of his physical capabilities and his breathing was compromised. I feared him losing the ability to take a breath, perhaps having to be intubated.Thankfully that didn’t happen. The hospice nurse told me he’d likely go to sleep one night and not wake up again; that’s exactly what he wanted and what happened. He was prepared and ready to leave his debilitated body, although he said he hated to leave me and the family. Another major comfort was that he passed before Covid-19 hit the world like a hammer. It would have been so sad and painful for him not to have friends visit, and for family and friends to miss out on saying goodbye and then sharing the loss with each other. So many thousands of Covid patients died in that lonely way.

That last night, he slept in the single hospital bed, relieved that he didn’t have to move anymore. Our daughter spent the night in the guest room next to where he was; I slept in our bed, really oblivious to the fact that this was his last night. In the morning our daughter came to my room, slid under the covers and said, “Mom . . . I think he’s left his body. I put a mirror up to his mouth and don’t see any breath.” We knew this was coming sooner than later; but I couldn’t move for a few minutes. “Let’s just lie here a bit, okay?” Finally, when I felt able to go see him, knowing he was gone, we went to him. Of course, he was pale and cold . . . his spirit clearly freed from the husk that had contained it for 74 years.

More blessings came to us. Our neighbor happened to be a “death doula” who could help us take care of his body at home. None of us wanted any formality, definitely no embalming. Dry ice was, surprisingly to us, available at our local grocery store. The family, including our two older grandkids, rallied around to help. Our son went home that day to build a simple and beautifully crafted, pegged pine coffin–just what Sam’s Jewish heritage suggested. We all participated in gently washing and wrapping his body in the perfect fabric. We placed boughs of evergreens and nandina berries in the coffin, and replaced the dry ice daily. We kept him home for three days while friends and family came to honor all he had meant to them. 

Finally, we took him to our daughter’s farm where she and the grandkids had dug his grave. We researched and learned we could legally do this with a few notifications to the county. On a Tuesday evening, by candlelight, those who wanted talked about the most important memories of what he meant to them. His brothers said the Mourner’s Kaddish (blessing) and we lowered the coffin into the grave, each taking turns with the shovel and soil. The ritual and participation helped soften the grief, at least a bit.

There was so much love there, and more to come. I initially thought I couldn’t handle our big, traditional Thanksgiving celebration, but there were “messages” from Spirit that I should do it. Someone miscounted those present that day and “accidentally” set an extra place . . .  for him, we felt. The first Saturday in December, friends organized a Celebration of his Life at our local community center. Another moment of comfort to share.

Christmas came and went in a blur. I felt numb mostly, now having to adjust to not taking care of him, not watching Netflix together, not sleeping with “one eye open.” Different friends spent nights with me for the first few weeks until I felt capable of being alone. Then the real grieving began.

Grief comes in many forms. I was mostly stoic, quiet in my mourning, overcome by crying spells when alone. And those would come over me suddenly at unexpected moments. Every day I woke up to the fact that I was now alone when I was so habituated to the couple-ness of all those years. Two friends arranged for me to travel to Hawaii for a couple weeks. There was some talk by the time I left home about a new virus in China that was wreaking havoc on the population there. But it seemed far away.

Soon after I came home in late February, I learned that Hawaii was now requiring travelers to quarantine for 14 days; the entire length of my trip. Another blessing. Then the new reality, the new “normal” descended on us all. I was not only alone without my partner, I was reluctant to have anyone visit, and was unable to go anywhere except the grocery store every 10 days or so!

How to fill up my days and nights? I pulled out my watercolor paints and some instructional books. Many evenings I’d share my attempts with another painter friend via text but often didn’t feel the energy to create anything new. I was always an avid reader but now found that I couldn’t stay focused on anything. I had some editing and transcription work I could do but the inertia I felt stopped me each time I tried.

Days have been long. Mostly I remain stoic, working to BE in the Now, taking care of legal and financial matters, but trying not to “future trip” too much. Then those tidal waves wash over me and I wonder what I’m going to do with my life: should I move, start a business, retire? “Too Soon!” friends caution me. And they are right.

But there are blessings to be found daily. I am able to be quiet for hours, sometimes days at a time. There is no one to look askance at my kitchen sink if I’ve left a day’s dishes there. Seven months along and four months of stay-at-home orders, plus an uncertain future leave me even more needful of staying focused on the moment. Friends and family are deeply important to me; and my grown “children” have rallied in such a loving and supportive way that I am buoyed up by that love. I feel my dear Sam around me at times; other times I suspect he is traveling the Universe on a grand adventure to his Creator.

His advice was always this: Keep it Simple–don’t complicate things; don’t judge yourself or others; have compassion for everyone you meet; be kind, it doesn’t cost you anything. I am now more fully learning those lessons because I have time and space to pay attention.

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