Books that Inspire

Books that Inspire

by | Feb 28, 2020 | Asheville, Collaborative Learning, Conversation, Leadership, Women

By Cheri Torres

I am inspired by two books I recently read: Little Fires Everywhere, by Celeste Ng, and Braiding Sweetgrass, by Robin Wall Kimmerer. Each of these wonderful storytellers pave the way for meaningful conversation about a critical topic. What delights me is the way they frame the conversations. They invite us to see the complexity of reality and ask us to recognize how detrimental it is to see things from narrow, objective, non-relational perspectives. What each of these books have in common is their invitation to see the world through the eyes of the artist and poet. To see reality from a more holistic perspective and to embrace multiple ways of knowing the world.

Celeste Ng’s story brings the reader into the complex world of privilege and discrimination in ways that allow us to see how systems of privilege stifle authenticity and genuine meaningful living at all levels. Exposed to each character’s hopes, perspectives, and pain, we have the opportunity to see how polarity and positioning around important decisions gives way to the system, leaving little room for authentic choice. The artist’s view, however, invites us to see beneath a character’s thoughts and emotions, to see the spiritual crisis the current system generates for everyone in it. She gives us a window into a world where people are seen, where genuine relationships might allow us to connect, deepen understanding, and find a way forward that defined by ‘us’ instead of the system.

How might we foster conversations about racial justice that allow us to make room to hear one another’s stories, to bear witness to one another’s struggle to be human, and to share a commitment to creating a world that works for everyone. The two practices from Conversations Worth Having support such conversations: create a positive frame for the conversation and ask generative questions. For example, positive frames and generative questions for conversations around equity and racial justice might be:

• Frame: Connecting through Our Stories

• Tell me about a time of struggle in your life and how you dealt/deal with it. What do you most value about yourself and others in your story?

• How does our current system of inequity negatively impact you?

• How is our current system impacting you and your ability to thrive?

• How do your strengths and privileges show up in your life? How might they help us move toward an equitable system?

• Frame: Creating Share Images of the Future

• What three wishes do you have for the future?

• What would genuine equity in our schools look like?

• Imagine community decision making was equitable. What would be different? How would we know it was equitable and just?

• Frame: Developing Pathways Toward Equity

• What steps might be taken to ensure equity?

• What three things can we do to get started?

• How can we design our schools and train our teachers to ensure equity?

In Braiding Sweetgrass, Dr. Kimmerer invites us out of the polarization around climate change by showing us a more whole way of seeing the world. Emphasizing relationships, she encourages us to embrace multiple ways of knowing in order to inform a broader perspective of the world around us. Instead of either/or, black and white thinking, we are encouraged to recognize the world as both object and subject, both material and metaphysical. Instead of polarity, the invitation is to come into relationship with nature, to see our connection and interdependence so that we can have conversations at a level that just might allow us to find ways forward.

Again, the two practices from Conversations Worth Having are of value. Sharing our stories helps us connect to one another, opening the door for us to discover our commonalities around important topics. Framing further conversation to support possibilities for the future creates a bridge for us to move forward together. For example:

Frame 1: Our Common Connections to Nature

•  Tell me about a time in your life when you felt most connected to nature. What did you value about yourself? What did you value about nature?

• How does nature and our environment impact you, your family, and our community?

• What is your relationship with nature and the environment?

Frame 2: A Shared Vision for Our Relationship with the Environment

• Imagine we had a relationship with nature and our environment that was mutually beneficial.
What might that look like?

• If we redesigned our neighborhoods and communities to embrace nature and nurture flourishing, what would they look like?

• Imagine you have an intimate and positive relationship with all of nature. What would that mean for you? How would you benefit? How would nature benefit?

Frame 3: Designing for Wholeness

• What can we do now to create neighborhoods and communities that embrace nature and nurture flourishing?

• What three things can each of us do to feel connected to nature each day?

• What action might the city take to ensure our environment thrives so that we can thrive? What role can we play in making that possible?

Whether you are reading books that inspire conversations about vital topics or not, such conversations are essential to our future. I invite you to join me in shifting those conversations away from the personal—us against them, me vs. you, one right way, mine—and toward dialogue that helps us find common ground, allows us to envision futures that work well for the whole, and creates possibilities for collaborative action. I actually want to do more than invite you to join me, I implore you to do so. The lives of our children and our children’s children quite literally depend upon it.

Cheri Torres is an author and speaker cheritorres.com. You can download a free Conversation Toolkit and learn more sparking great conversations at ConversationsWorthHaving.today.

Say No to Green Beer

by | Feb 28, 2020 | Asheville, Food, Holidays, St Patrick's Day

Beer stocks must go up on St. Patrick’s day weekend. It’s a given that the sales are astronomically high, when every bar, nightclub, and even house party seems to down green-colored beer by the barrel. But what about the drinkers who don’t care so much for beer? There are plenty of Irish-loving souls who have every desire to celebrate the wearin’ o’ the green, but would rather drink something sophisticated and delicious.

With those folks in mind, here are five suggestions for festive cocktails that aren’t just tasty; they’re also decidedly Irish. Whether you mix them up for your own private party, or sidle up to the bar and order one from your favorite drink slinger, you’re sure to find a favorite. Be sure to toast St. Patrick with everyone.

Irish Coffee

If you can’t get through the day without a coffee shop latte or two, the Irish coffee is the libation for you. Every bartender has their own variation, but the classic recipe calls for strong, hot coffee, sugar, whiskey, and a layer of heavy cream. If you’re making your own, you can experiment with your own proportions, or even add flavored whipped cream or sprinkles on top. Just be sure and do one thing without fail: make sure the whiskey is Irish.

Baileys on the Rocks

The taste of Baileys Irish Cream combines two great Irish traditions: dairy farming and whiskey distilling. The result is creamy and sweet, but with a whiskey kick you can definitely feel. Dozens of cocktails use Bailey’s as an ingredient in some elaborately American-style drink concoctions, but this is St. Patrick’s Day. Keep it simple, and keep it Irish, by having (or serving) Bailey’s Irish Cream in its pure form, over ice.

Emerald Isle

While gin makes for a somewhat less traditionally Irish drink, why should the beer swillers be the only ones to have drinks that are green? The Emerald Isle is a lovely color as well as a lovely cocktail, and it should please those who like to drink Martinis and Cosmopolitans.

Emerald Isle Recipe

1 jigger gin

1 teaspoon green Creme de Menthe

1-3 dashes bitters

Add ingredients to a cocktail shaker filled with ice. Shake well and strain into a Martini glass.

Wild Irish Rose

If you only know Wild Irish Rose as a cheap liquor store wine, don’t admit it on St. Patrick’s Day! The name also belongs to a classic cocktail that is as far from the hobo-preferred rotgut as a soy burger is from filet mignon. Again, choose a good Irish whiskey (like Jameson or Bushmills), and you’ll taste the results.

Wild Irish Rose Recipe

2 oz Irish whiskey

3/4 oz fresh lemon juice

1/2 oz grenadine

2 oz soda

Pour all ingredients over ice into a rocks glass and stir.

St. Patty’s Girl

The least “real” Irish drink on the list, the St. Patty’s girl is very much an American invention. It is, however, a frothy, sweet concoction that will please those who want a dessert-like cocktail. You’ll still get credit for the fact that it contains two Irish ingredients: Bailey’s and Irish whiskey. To make the drink, mix one shot of Baileys, one shot of whiskey, one shot of coffee or chocolate liqueur, and one shot of espresso in a blender. The result is a creamy blend that combines the best of the States and the Island in one.

There’s no reason to succumb to the green beer on St. Patrick’s Day, no matter how popular it may be. In fact, the beer usually tinted green at most bars is about as Irish as baseball. Enjoy sipping on one of these cold cocktails that pays homage to St. Patrick’s native land. Who’s the most Irish now?
You are!

Mother Nature’s Magic

Mother Nature’s Magic

by | Feb 28, 2020 | Asheville, Lifestyle, Self-Discovery, Uncategorized, Women

By JeanAnn Taylor

This past January I ran into that brick wall known as, The Flu. It was a hard hit that put me in bed for over a week. When The Flu hits, you have no decisions to make; it makes them for you. The only thing to do is to wait until The Flu says, “You can get up now.”

While lying in bed day after day, I had time to think about what I want 2020 to look like. Of course I’ll keep dancing.

Of course I’ll continue to sew, crochet, paint, and write; but what needs to change to make my life fuller, happier, healthier? The answer I came up with is to spend more time outside. Like most people I know, my life in work and play demands indoor time. Yet being in nature—surrounded by growing, buzzing, tweeting, blooming, and other enchanting mysteries—has so many benefits good for our body and soul; outdoor time is worth making a priority.

In the 1990s, the Japanese concept of shinrin-yoku began. As many Japanese traditions follow common sense, simplicity, intention, and authenticity, this practice, which translates into “forest bathing” is another way to live with these virtuous ideals. Forest bathing doesn’t require water, bubble bath, or a soaking tub. It simply requires that you spend time in nature where your mind can meander with no predestined intention. The only requirement is that you slow down and notice. As you wander through the woods or park, be mindful of the scent of blooming honeysuckle. Pay attention to how the wind feels as it blows across your skin. Touch a tree and observe how rough or smooth the bark feels on your hand. Look up and watch as birds fly above you. Listen as leaves crunch under your boots, as a waterfall cascades into the river, and as a songbird alerts her family of your presence. Be awed while watching butterflies puddle at the river bank, as bees flit from flower to flower, and as water bugs dive into the lake. Walk barefoot to absorb electrons from the earth, and dip your toes into the icy water of a mountain stream.

An important component of forest bathing is in the action of walking. Walking is considered to be the single most important thing we can do to improve our health. Along with reducing stress, managing our weight, and warding off many diseases, walking inspires creative thinking by delivering more blood flow to the brain. Without the distractions of cell phones, emails, and to-do lists, your mind is free to unconsciously process ideas and predicaments. Answers to questions and dilemmas that seem impossibly overwhelming often appear as if by magic. Combine walking with nature-focus and epiphanies can happen.

Spending time outdoors can also help us sleep better at night. The natural rhythms of light and dark can be distorted by our modern lifestyle of constant, artificial lighting. Going outside to watch the sunrise or sunset, or to gaze at the stars, can help to reset our internal clock. Awareness of weather also keeps our days and months from blending into each other. When we spend our lives in a controlled climate, every day feels the same and we mindlessly miss the experience of the seasons. This can lead to a loss of perspective.

This spring, take a walk in the woods to look for tiny wildflowers popping up to say, “Hello.” Breathe in the fresh, cool air, and feel inspired at a waterfall. What you’ll find as you lose yourself in nature is—yourself. Go outside, follow your nose, and accept the healing gift of outdoor wonder.

Please send your thoughts and ideas to me at [email protected]

Sofia Style–The Savvy Satchel

Sofia Style–The Savvy Satchel

by | Feb 28, 2020 | Asheville, Fashion, Style, Women

By JeanAnn Taylor

I have too many satchels. Why? For some reason, they are irresistible to me. And I’m not alone. Many, many of us have a stash of tote bags. With the variety of sizes, designs, and styles available, you can find one to accommodate just about any purpose. Tote bags are versatile, functional, cute, and they have appealing organizational features. Handy pockets can be found on the inside as well as the outside of many designs.

Satchels, or tote bags, are an all-purpose, sturdy-handled bag with hundreds of potential uses. They can be used as gym bags, shopping bags, gift bags, or beach bags. They can hold everything from yarn and crochet hooks to laptops to dance shoes. One of the biggest problems with totes is—where to store your collection. The trunk of your car? Your closet? Underneath your bed? I know of people who need large totes to store their small totes! Totes bags are definitely a must-have accessory.

One enticing feature of satchels is that they come in every material imaginable: canvas, cotton, leather, and even lace. Of course the heavier the fabric, the more durable your tote will be. This “bag of bags” is also notable because of it’s reusable quality. We can avoid using plastic shopping bags by simply carrying a tote with us.

One tip for totes is to clean them regularly. They can become quite dirty when used often. To keep them free of bacteria and other nasty germs, machine wash if possible. If washing is not an option, wipe off with antibacterial wipes.

With such a fashionable as well as functional item, the question is; can you really have too many totes?

Sleep Savvy Tips

Sleep Savvy Tips

by | Feb 28, 2020 | Acupuncture, Asheville, Health, Insomnia, yoga

By Natasha Kubis

As a chronic sufferer of insomnia, I have great empathy for my clients who struggle to get a decent night’s sleep. There have been too many evenings when I lay awake with a busy mind, pondering a vast array of thoughts, ranging from the meaning of life to the meaningless details of life. Articles about the detrimental effects of sleep deprivation only serve to create more anxiety around bedtime, as do phone apps that measure sleep quality and how little I actually rest. I am already aware that I am not a solid sleeper and I know how bad it is for my health! So what is the solution?

Around one in three people have at least mild insomnia. It is no surprise that it affects women more often than men. Most of us ladies have an outstanding ability to worry about everyone and everything, especially at night. In yoga we call this “monkey brain,” or the inability to quiet the mind. For inadequate sleepers, it is imperative to find lifestyle tools that yield sustainable rest habits.

A common mistake people make is that they often take a one-size-fits-all approach when addressing insomnia. To effectively treat insomnia it is important to determine its root cause and that means deciphering between primary insomnia and secondary insomnia. Often, insomnia is a symptom of an underlying issue (secondary insomnia) and those issues need to be addressed first for best results. You can make healthy changes to your sleep routine and try every natural sleep aid in the pharmacy, but it will not make a difference if there are other medical conditions preventing restorative sleep.

Medical conditions and factors that can cause secondary insomnia are:

• Hormone imbalances: menopause, hot flashes, perimenopause, and pregnancy.

• Psychiatric disorders: depression, anxiety, and brain injury.

• Pain issues: from an injury, physical exercise, arthritis, and headache.

• Breathing issues: asthma, chronic obstructive pulmonary disorder (COPD), and heart disease.

• Digestive disorders: gastroesophageal reflux disease (GERD), heartburn, acid reflux, and food allergies.

• Other sleep disorders: restless leg syndrome (RLS), obstructive sleep apnea, and narcolepsy.

• Thyroid disorders: hyperthyroidism, and hypothyroidism.

• Other diseases: obesity, Alzheimer’s, Parkinson’s, hypertension, and diabetes.

• Side effects from medications: beta blockers, certain antidepressants, decongestants, and stimulants.

If your sleep problem includes difficulty falling asleep, staying asleep, or waking too early, and is not a result of another medical condition, it is primary insomnia. Primary insomnia is not related to an underlying medical condition and is often the result of bad sleep habits that can begin in youth. 

Some common factors that can impact sleep negatively are:

• Electronics:  Avoid them at least 30 minutes before bedtime and in the middle of the night if nocturnal awakenings occur. The blue light emitted from computer screens and hand-held devices can suppress natural melatonin production, resulting in difficulty falling asleep.

• Stimulants: Cigarettes, caffeine, and other stimulants in the evening can interfere with sleep by keeping your mind overactive. Foods with dark chocolate have caffeine and should be avoided late in the day.

• Alcohol: While it can make you drowsy and more likely to fall asleep faster, it often disrupts sleep and can deter you from entering the deeper, much needed phases of the sleep cycles.

• Heavy meals at dinner: Foods high in fat have been linked to poor, fragmented sleep. Fat triggers the digestive processes and causes a buildup of stomach acids, which while lying down can creep into the esophagus causing discomfort. Heavy meals before bedtime cause the body to spend more time working on digestion rather than focusing on sleeping. It is best to keep your heaviest meal for lunchtime.

• Spicy foods: While spicy foods are tasty and have health benefits, they are notorious for causing heartburn, indigestion, and acid reflux. Heartburn can be made worse while lying down because it allows the acids to creep up into the esophagus and burn the sensitive lining.

• Diuretic foods: Foods containing water, such as watermelon and celery, are natural diuretics which help push water through your system. Eating these types of foods and drinking anything too close to bedtime can cause you to lose sleep from middle of the night bathroom trips.

Yogic practice for better sleep:

• Yoga and yogic breathing: Yoga is a gentle and restorative way to wind down your day. A national survey found that over 55% of people who did yoga found that it helped them get better sleep. Over 85% said yoga helped reduce stress. Breath in yoga is equally important as the physical pose. The gentle and calming yoga breath technique called Ujjayi Breath is also known as Ocean Breath. You start by inhaling deeply through the nose. With your mouth closed, exhale through your nose, while constricting the back of your throat, as if you are saying “ha,” but keep your mouth closed. This exhalation should sound like the waves of the ocean. Use this slow and steady breath to soothe yourself in each of these poses.

Here are some restorative poses that are ideal for preparing your body for sleep.

– Standing forward bend 
– Cat stretch
– Cow Stretch 
– Child pose 
– Butterfly pose  
– Legs-up-the-wall pose

Proper nutrition:


Melatonin helps control your daily sleep-wake cycles. There are a few excellent sources of naturally occurring melatonin in foods:

• Fruits and vegetables (tart cherries, corn, asparagus, tomatoes, pomegranate, olives, grapes, broccoli, and cucumber)

• Grains (rice, barley, and rolled oats)

• Nuts and Seeds (walnuts, peanuts, sunflower seeds, mustard seeds, and flaxseed)

Tryptophan is an amino acid that when ingested gets turned into the neurotransmitter serotonin and then converted into the hormone melatonin. Here are some of the best foods loaded with tryptophan:

• Dairy products (milk, low-fat yogurt, and cheese)

• Poultry (turkey and chicken)

• Seafood (shrimp, salmon, halibut, tuna, sardines, and cod)

• Nuts and seeds (flax, sesame, pumpkin, sunflower, cashews, peanuts, almonds, and walnuts)

• Legumes (kidney beans, lima beans, black beans split peas, and chickpeas)

• Fruits (apples, bananas, peaches, and avocado)

• Vegetables (spinach, broccoli, turnip greens, asparagus, onions, and seaweed)

• Grains (wheat, rice, barley, corn, and oats)

• Magnesium is a natural relaxant and is referred to as the “sleep mineral”. Excellent sources of magnesium are:

• Leafy greens (baby spinach, kale, and collard greens)

• Nuts and seeds (almonds, sunflower seeds, brazil nuts, cashews, pine nuts, flaxseed, and pecans)

• Wheat germ

• Fish (salmon, halibut, tuna, and mackerel)

• Soybeans

• Banana

• Avocados

• Low-fat yogurt

Calcium is another mineral that helps the brain make melatonin. Sources of calcium include:

• Leafy greens
• Low-fat milk, cheeses, and yogurt
• Sardines
• Soybeans
• Green snap peas
• Okra

Vitamin B6 also helps to convert tryptophan into melatonin. A deficiency in B6 has been linked with lowered serotonin levels and poor sleep. Highest sources of B6 are:

• Pistachio nuts and flaxseeds

• Fish (tuna, salmon, and halibut)

• Meat (chicken, tuna, lean pork, and lean beef)

• Dried Prunes

• Bananas

• Avocado

• Spinach

Other healthy habits:

• Maintain a sleep environment conducive to sleep. The bedroom should be comfortably cool. Use of blackout curtains, ear plugs, or sound machines may help promote an optimal sleep environment for individuals with sleep disruptions due to environmental stimuli. Sleep on a comfortable mattress and pillows.

• Regular bright light exposure in the mornings may help to maximize alertness and maintain a regular circadian rhythm.

• If you cannot sleep, do not look at a clock. Go into another room and do something relaxing until you feel drowsy enough to fall asleep again. Then return to bed.

• Go to bed and get up at the same time every day. Stick to a sleep schedule of the same bedtime and wake up time, even on the weekends. Consistency makes it much easier to fall asleep and wake easily.

• Use a journal to work out problems you have before you go to bed.

• It may be helpful to work with a counselor or psychologist to deal with the problems that might be causing poor sleep. Behavioral therapies for insomnia include sleep hygiene education, stimulus control, relaxation, sleep restriction therapy, cognitive therapy, and cognitive behavioral therapy.

It is never too late for proper sleep training. Learning these tips can help you feel more relaxed around bedtime and encourage a more restorative and good night’s sleep.

Natasha Kubis is a licensed acupuncturist and certified yoga teacher.
For more information, visit essential-well.com

The Persistence of . . . Uh . . . I Forget

The Persistence of . . . Uh . . . I Forget

by | Feb 28, 2020 | Asheville, Body Language, Feldenkrais Method, Uncategorized

By Lavinia Plonka

Salvador Dali’s unforgettable image of watches dripping off branches has been a favorite  of mine since I was a child. Time can melt, but never disappear, like the memory of an event. Except of course, it’s not true. Memory itself melts, distorts and recreates itself with a logic that defies science.

My husband Ron has no memory at all when it comes to social plans. I rack my brain trying to understand what trauma he had in his childhood that would make him incapable of remembering that we have tickets for the theater, that we’ve had the tickets for six weeks, that he loves this play and was the one who said he wanted to go. I’ll hear him on the phone, planning to get together with someone for the night we have the tickets. I try to get his attention. He hates when I try to talk to him while he’s on the phone. Never mind that he tries to talk to me while I’m on the phone, that’s another rant.
He’ll say to his friend, “Hold on a second Jeff. My wife is jumping up and down with something that can’t wait.”

“You can’t meet Jeff tomorrow, we have tickets for the theater.”
“What theater?”

“Um, Hamlet? Remember?”

“Yeah, I know the play.”

“No! They’re doing Hamlet downtown, we have tickets for tomorrow!”

“Well, why didn’t you tell me?”

“Tell you!? You picked up the tickets!”

“I did? I did! But that was weeks ago.”

“Right. But we haven’t gone to the show yet, didn’t you notice?”

“Of course I know we haven’t.” There is an uncertain pause. “Damn, I’ve seen so many productions of Hamlet. I wouldn’t know if I went or not. You have to write these dates on the calendar.”

I mutely point to the calendar, which is right in front of him, where I have written, HAMLET.

He uncovers the phone. “Uh, yeah, Jeff, we can’t do it tomorrow. It seems we have theater tickets . . . ”

I used to pride myself on my impeccable memory. My family called me “ST”, for Steel Trap. Why look something up when you could just call Lavinia for obscure song lyrics or a forgotten recipe? Until recently, it seemed to me that women in general are better able to hold details like whose turn it is to do the dishes, or when was the last time you took a toilet bowl brush in your hand, with greater precision than the male mind. Ron’s memory seemed sharpest when reminiscing about his youthful exploits. We can go to a party where he will have a delightful conversation with someone we’ve met several times, and then later that evening, when recalling the conversation, he can’t remember the person’s name. Yet the other day, an envelope appeared in our mailbox with an unfamiliar name. Ron came home and I called out to him, “You got a letter from someone I never heard of. From Ohio. Some guy named Robert Morris.”

“Ah,” says Ron, without even a pause. “My lifeguarding buddy at Cheesequake State Park back in ’62.” Then he spends a half hour trying to remember where he put his reading glasses, which are hanging around his neck.

Then it happened to me. I ignored some of the first moments I was caught. Not showing up for a lunch date because I forgot to look at my book. Forgetting my brother-in-law’s birthday. And then the shortest short term memory loss event in history: I misplaced my red clippers while I was using them. I had them. I put them down, got some Hollytone to sprinkle around the azaleas. I went back to pick them up. They were gone. I searched the area. Under the bushes. In the wheelbarrow. I went into the house in case I had gone in for something, (had I gone in for something? I couldn’t remember). I even looked in my car in case, in a moment of complete sleep I thought the clippers needed a ride. I decided to blame aliens. They had abducted my clippers. They were collecting earth items for an art show in space. Some day, they would dump all the stuff they had stolen on someone’s house in Iowa. I just knew it.

The other night, Ron and I went to a concert. In all the excitement of actually arriving early enough to have a glass of wine in the lobby (an essay on downsizing life’s thrills is forthcoming), Ron forgot his shoulder bag on the floor. Once seated in the theater, he suddenly realized what he had done and bolted out to retrieve it. While he was gone, the women in the row behind us began to talk.

“I have totally lost my short term memory.”

“I know, isn’t it awful?”

“One of the worst things is when you see an old movie and suddenly you realize, ‘wait, I’ve seen this before!”

“Sometimes I see the whole movie and don’t remember any of it from before!”

“You know what’s really bad.  It’s when you actually rent a movie, bring it home, and then realize that you’ve seen it before. Has that ever happened to you?

Long pause, then, “I don’t know.”

We recently had a beautiful new patio built of concrete interlocking bricks. We were so proud, like parents of a new child, standing arm in arm, admiring our new patio. The next morning, the patio was riddled with tiny volcanoes as armies of ants tunneled their way through the joints to create their little condos in the brick foundation we had so thoughtfully provided for them. Ron became obsessed, starting with hot water, proceeding to boric acid, and then Windex. I came home one day to find him with a hypodermic syringe, on his hands and knees, injecting something into the seams of the bricks.

“What are you injecting?”

Silence. He looks up. “Someone told me they hate pee.”

“You’re injecting pee into the holes? How did you get the pee into the syringe? Never mind, I don’t want to know.”

When the pee didn’t work (plus, I really didn’t enjoy the odor, although the ants liked it fine), someone suggested grits. “OK, I’ll pick up the grits after work,” I grunted.

When I got home, Ron asked for the grits. I had forgotten to pick up the grits. “Hallelujah!” he cried. “I’m not the only one who forgets!”

The next day, he called me from the market. “Yellow grits? Instant grits? Quick grits?  Grits with cheddar and bacon? Cheese flavored grits?” We settled on yellow.

“Oh, by the way, while you’re there,” I say, “Could you pick up some Epsom salts?”

“Sure.”

That night, I ask for the Epsom salts.  He looks up at me blankly. Smiles. “I forgot.”

“How could you forget, I talked to you in the store!”

He shrugs. “That’s how it happens. You just forget.”

Body language expert, Lavinia Plonka has taught The Feldenkrais Method for over 25 years. 

For more information, visit her at laviniaplonka.com

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