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Solo Date Ideas for Your Next Day Out

by admin | Aug 30, 2021 | Asheville, relationships, Social

In today’s world where hectic schedules seem to be the norm, taking time to care for yourself can be a challenge. And when you do find the time, deciding what to do and who to do it with can turn into a daunting task that ends up robbing you of precious time. But what better way to unwind and indulge in some much-needed self-care than a solo date? Read on for a list of ideas that are sure to give you some inspiration, whether you’re looking for relaxed fun or a bit of an adventure.

Coffee shop If you’re the kind of person who likes the smell of coffee and the gentle buzz of conversation in a coffee shop, then your solo date could be as simple as some time spent in your local café. You can also explore a new spot around you or order something you’ve never had at your usual haunt to change things up. Pick a comfy seat, grab a book or magazine, and you’re good to go.

Park Nothing can beat Mother Nature when it comes to providing some peace and quiet. If that’s what you’re looking for, a trip to the park could be just the thing. You can fix yourself a snack and read, draw, journal, or just watch people. Needless to say, the fresh air and sunlight will do you good.

Dinner Going out for dinner is probably the most popular idea for a date, so why not do it solo? Dining alone can seem a bit intimidating, especially if you’ve never done it before, but that’s even more reason to go for it. You can step out of your comfort zone and enjoy a nice meal at a restaurant of your choice.

Gallery Whether you’re in the habit of visiting galleries and art shows or not, time spent appreciating art is never wasted. It makes for a great solo activity that is sure to entertain you and open your eyes to new things.

Shopping Many claim shopping is therapeutic. You may agree, or traipsing around the mall may sound like a chore to you. But how about shopping for what you love? Maybe you’re a comic book fan, or you like collecting antiques. Whatever your passion is, there’s almost certainly a store that caters to it.

Event Events are a great way to take a break from your routine and get your mind off things. While it’s true they’re not what they used to be before the pandemic, it’s still worth finding something that interests you, be it live music, poetry readings or even a lecture on a topic you’d like to learn more about.

New skill It’s hard to come up with a better use of downtime than self-improvement. There’s a wide range of skills you could learn while also having fun. Maybe you’ve been itching to try pottery or take a dance lesson. And who knows? You might even pick up a new hobby along the way.

Somewhere with a view The relaxation and the feeling of distance from the daily grind that a great view offers can hardly be matched by anything else. This option is also very versatile, as you can find different places with a view you can enjoy. You could drive to a spot where you can look out at your city, or the sea if you happen to live near one. A rooftop restaurant or bar is another possibility. You could also hike somewhere, adding a sense of achievement to the beauty of the view at the top.

Different cultures You may not have the luxury of traveling the world, but that doesn’t mean you can’t use a day off to satisfy your sense of adventure. Get a taste of a different culture by sampling foreign food you’ve never had before or exploring a part of town dedicated to a particular culture.

Adrenaline rush If you spend most of your time sitting at a desk or tackling the same long to-do list every day, you could really benefit from challenging yourself and feeling the high of an adrenaline rush. Use your free time to go on a scary ride, skydive, do some public speaking or any number of things that can get your blood pumping. A word of caution – your safety should always come first.

Now that you’re armed with this list, you know where to look the next time you feel like taking a break and planning a solo date or ten.

Shy and Shining: Ways to Capitalize on Being Quiet

by admin | Jul 26, 2021 | Asheville, Self-Discovery, Social, Women

Shy people may not say a lot, but that doesn’t mean they have little to say–or to be proud of. In fact, being a quiet person can be as rewarding as being an extrovert. The trick is to find ways to express yourself and make the most of your shyness in a society that seems to favor the outgoing personality. There’s no reason to shy away from being shy. These tips will help you discover the advantages of shyness and how to use them to live life to the fullest.

Get Noticed on Paper Many quiet people are great writers or at least better at expressing themselves on paper than in person. So go ahead and make yourself known with the written word. It will give you more than a comfortable outlet to “speak”; writing is a confidence booster and a creative channel for the shy. Take advantage of writing opportunities at work or in the community. Even penning heartfelt notes to friends or family will bring out your unique personality for others to see.

Think Positively About Shyness People often think of shyness as a weakness, but nothing could be further from the truth. Shyness is simply an attribute, like being left-handed or red-haired. Shyness won’t keep you from attaining personal and professional goals–only a negative attitude about it will. Fortunately, you have the power to control your thoughts. Adopting a positive mindset about shyness can do wonders for your self-esteem and put to rest the notion that being shy is a bad thing.

Take Advantage of Shyness Benefits Shy people are often analytical types who tend to think before they speak. They’re usually strong empathizers, too, and are prone to helping others feel comfortable in uncomfortable situations. Shyness perks like these make quiet people excellent candidates for certain career choices, including working with disabled people, therapy jobs, and technology and research positions. Use the benefits of your shy nature to pursue work and life roles that are rewarding, fulfilling, and useful.

Shine Behind the Scenes Being shy may keep you out of the public eye, but shy people can do many things in small groups or behind the scenes that add value and leave an indelible mark. You can capitalize on being quiet by excelling at what you do in your comfort zone, like handling important details for those who choose to be in the public eye. Get proficient at skills you enjoy doing and give them your full effort. You won’t be in the limelight, but you will gain recognition and satisfaction.

Build Meaningful Relationships Worried you don’t have enough friends thanks to your shyness? Worry no more. Studies have shown that having a small number of quality friends can be more rewarding than being a social butterfly. When it comes to making friends, shyness can actually be an asset. Quiet people are easy to approach, have a calming effect on others, focus less on themselves, and typically make good listeners. Those traits can help you build meaningful and trusting relationships–for life.

Don’t let shyness keep you from divulging your true self and utilizing your unique gifts.
You won’t just feel empowered; the world will take notice too.

10 Steps to have Conversations Worth Having About BIG Stuff

by Cheri Torres | Jul 30, 2020 | Asheville, Conversation, Pandemic, Social

By Cheri Torres,

This year has brought to a head many conversations we should have been having, but weren’t: It wasn’t the right time. They made us uncomfortable. Why bother, we couldn’t change things. Those in power wouldn’t listen. Too stressful. Not enough time, not enough information. The list could go on and on. The topics are BIG: Among them are systemic racism, social, economic, and educational disparity, governance, climate change, and health care.

Pick the topic that is near and dear to your heart and develop your capacity to begin the conversations, even though they might be uncomfortable and the outcomes uncertain. They may be volatile because divisiveness and hostility are fueling social media. Pause, take a deep breath, and get curious. Invite mutuality.

Start by acknowledging these topics are complex and ambiguous; no one person or small group of people can possibly have answers. It is going to take all of us, willing to engage, willing to change our minds, be influenced by one, and be open to the possibility that there just might be a better future for all of us. How might we imagine that together? I don’t have any answers, but I do know at least some of the important concepts necessary for us to have these conversations:

1. Accept change as a constant. It’s here and there’s going to be a lot more of it. If you can embrace it, all the better.

2. We’re Entering the Unknown. To quote Star Trek: We are boldly going where no one has been before. To see what we’ve never even imagined means dreaming together. Linking ideas. Using metaphor, biomimicry, and imagination about new possible futures.

3. It’s Complex, No One Knows the
Answer. In complex challenges, solutions emerge in the process of generative inquiry. This means asking questions that challenge people to think and see differently, including yourself. To examine assumptions, clarify needs and desired outcomes. To imagine the impossible and to stare long enough at the horizon to allow the future to come into focus.

4. Adopt a Beginner’s Mindset. Engage with the heart and eyes of innocence: be curious, wonder, be open, let go of preconceived ideas, judgments, and assumptions. None of us knows what’s best at this point in history.

5. Come from Your Square. Draw a 1’x1’ square on the floor and then stand in that space. Enter these conversations with the assumption that that space is all you know: You know your story, experience, feelings, needs and wants, period.

6. Let Others Come from Their Square. Recognize that every person in the conversation is standing in their own 1’x1’ box, wanting the same thing you do: to be seen, heard, valued, and included.

7. Listen to One Another. Deep listening will be absolutely essential. Listening to really hear what others are expressing. Listen with an open mind, open heart, and open will. This means listening without downloading your responses or assessing what the other is saying, without judging, and without automatically dismissing suggestions.

8. Adopt an Attitude of Curiosity. Genuine curiosity often arises when you authentically stand in the 1’x1’ square with open mind, heart, and will. Ask questions to clarify another’s perspective, to truly understand their story, to learn from their experiences, and to find ways you might entertain their ideas. Generative questions help us broaden our own understanding and see possibilities where there were none.

9. Focus on Outcomes. Focus the conversations on what you want more of, on the outcomes that will come into being when we have a solution to an issue. For example, instead of focusing on immigration as a problem, focus on the outcomes that would accrue if immigration was not a problem. Focusing on the problem often gives us a single point of view solution, like no more immigration. Focusing on desired outcomes broadens and builds possibilities for solutions. For example, one of the hoped-for outcomes might be that everyone in the country feels safe, secure, and economically stable. We could have a conversation that helps us explore how to make sure everyone in the country feels safe, secure, and economically stable. Closing immigration might or might not be one of many solutions that emerge.

10. Be OK with Being Uncomfortable. Really listening to other people’s points of view with an open mind, heart, and will is bound to get uncomfortable at times. Especially if it bumps up against your values. Be willing to allow the possibility that there’s more than one right way. Any time you feel triggered, pause and breathe deeply. Circle back #4-#9.

It’s time to have these important conversations. Time to start talking with those who are least like us. Those we call “other;” those who need the system to work for them as well. The future depends upon us. Our children’s and their children’s children’s lives depend upon our ability to have the kind of conversations that build new and strong relationships across differences and enable us to co-create our systems so that they work for everyone.

The future can’t help but be uncertain. The current social and economic systems have reached their sustainable capacity. They have brought us to where we are. They cannot take us forward and we cannot go back. The future requires that we intentionally co-create it. To do that we must have conversations worth having.

Cheri Torres is an author and speaker cheritorres.com. For information on training, certification and to download a free Conversation Toolkit go to Conversations WorthHaving.today.