Shy and Shining: Ways to Capitalize on Being Quiet

Shy and Shining: Ways to Capitalize on Being Quiet

Shy people may not say a lot, but that doesn’t mean they have little to say–or to be proud of. In fact, being a quiet person can be as rewarding as being an extrovert. The trick is to find ways to express yourself and make the most of your shyness in a society that seems to favor the outgoing personality. There’s no reason to shy away from being shy. These tips will help you discover the advantages of shyness and how to use them to live life to the fullest.

Get Noticed on Paper   Many quiet people are great writers or at least better at expressing themselves on paper than in person. So go ahead and make yourself known with the written word. It will give you more than a comfortable outlet to “speak”; writing is a confidence booster and a creative channel for the shy. Take advantage of writing opportunities at work or in the community. Even penning heartfelt notes to friends or family will bring out your unique personality for others to see.

Think Positively About Shyness   People often think of shyness as a weakness, but nothing could be further from the truth. Shyness is simply an attribute, like being left-handed or red-haired. Shyness won’t keep you from attaining personal and professional goals–only a negative attitude about it will. Fortunately, you have the power to control your thoughts. Adopting a positive mindset about shyness can do wonders for your self-esteem and put to rest the notion that being shy is a bad thing.

Take Advantage of Shyness Benefits   Shy people are often analytical types who tend to think before they speak. They’re usually strong empathizers, too, and are prone to helping others feel comfortable in uncomfortable situations. Shyness perks like these make quiet people excellent candidates for certain career choices, including working with disabled people, therapy jobs, and technology and research positions. Use the benefits of your shy nature to pursue work and life roles that are rewarding, fulfilling, and useful.

Shine Behind the Scenes   Being shy may keep you out of the public eye, but shy people can do many things in small groups or behind the scenes that add value and leave an indelible mark. You can capitalize on being quiet by excelling at what you do in your comfort zone, like handling important details for those who choose to be in the public eye. Get proficient at skills you enjoy doing and give them your full effort. You won’t be in the limelight, but you will gain recognition and satisfaction.

Build Meaningful Relationships   Worried you don’t have enough friends thanks to your shyness? Worry no more. Studies have shown that having a small number of quality friends can be more rewarding than being a social butterfly. When it comes to making friends, shyness can actually be an asset. Quiet people are easy to approach, have a calming effect on others, focus less on themselves, and typically make good listeners. Those traits can help you build meaningful and trusting relationships–for life.

Don’t let shyness keep you from divulging your true self and utilizing your unique gifts.
You won’t just feel empowered; the world will take notice too.

Women Making Music – July Music Venues

Women Making Music – July Music Venues

As the music venues in the city and surrounding communities open up a little more each week, so have the opportunities for our beloved female music artists.

Herein is a comprehensive list of gigs and shows from some of my past and future interviewees. I am thrilled to discover that more and more of the women who were regularly performing pre-pandemic, are filling in their once bare calendars with bookings.

Encouraging you to get out and support live local music, especially the individuals and groups who are fronted by and/or include female musicians, is part of my mission. While funding-organizations exist for performers and entertainers, these monies are shared. When a music fan attends a concert, gig or show, the tips and a chunk of ticket sales goes directly into the pockets of the performers.

So here you go, all you music-goers! There are so many options and I am stoked to list so many choices!

Thursday, July 1st: Love Bubble featuring Paula Hanke, Peggy Ratusz & Hank Bones – Debut record release “Love Revolution” The Grey Eagle Music Hall, 8pm. You’re in for a dreamy, nostalgic, heartwarming and whimsical time! reverbnation.com/lovebubblewnc

Friday, July 2nd: Pimps of Pompe featuring Cynthia Mc Dermot on mandolin and vocals One World Brewing West, 6pm. Specializing in jazzed-up renditions of 90s/2000s hip-hop and R&B, with vintage jazz to create a vibe that is equal parts swag and sophistication. mandocynmusic.com/pop

Saturday July 3rd: Alex Krug combo Patio Show at the Grey Eagle, 6pm

Singer and songwriter Alex Krug is a colossal force of power, strength and charm, and their voice emerges as a diamond in the rough. With a sense of discovery, the Asheville-based players strike a stunningly evocative chord about life, being an outsider and the kind of heartache that transforms your soul. alexkrugmusic.com

Saturday July 3rd: Linda Mitchell Ooh LaLa Curiosity Market Pritchard Park, 2:30pm. Smoky, rich Blues and Jazz from our quintessential Music Mauven! lindamitchellblues.com

Sunday July 4th:  The LadsAVL features female rhythm section Kim Butler on electric bass and Stephanie Irvine on drums, Maggie Valley Country Club, 11am

Playing songs we know by heart and compelling originals they hope you will come to know by heart! Rock, folk, roots & blues. TheLadsAVL.com

Wednesday July 7th: Jesse Barry & Friends Patio show the Grey Eagle, 6pm

Wielding a unique blues sound Jesse is often described as an “old soul” and audiences are stunned by the voice that comes out of her petite frame. This Blues, Funk, and Soul group has a huge following, so get your tickets now!
facebook.com/JesseBarryAndTheJam

Friday, July 9th: Kayla Lynn & The Change Grey Eagle debut Patio Show, 6pm A bass player, singer/songwriter, empowerment speaker, has immersed herself in the funk music community in and is a resident artist with LEAF Global Arts, an ambassador for Free2Luv and a founding member
of The One Voice Project. areyoureadyforthechange.com/

Friday, July 9th: Singer/songwriter Izzi Hughes plays The 2nd Act Coffee, Wine & Beer starting at 6pm in Hendersonville. Award winning wunderkind continues her trajectory into the world of music with catchy and thought provoking covers and originals. izzihughes.com

Saturday, July 10th: Lyric Band opening at Silverado’s, Black Mountain 5pm. A WNC favorite who holds Mountain Xpress “best of” awards: funk band, vocalist, lyricist, r&b/soul, and artist who gives back to the community. reverbnation.com/lyricfans

Saturday July 10th: Peggy Ratusz & Daddy LongLegs Band, Mills River Brewing, 7pm outdoor stage. “Everything” has been the answer to the question, “What kind of music do you play?” Asheville is giving the one they called the “ruby throated blues mama” a platform to dip into her many musical styles and influences. reverbnation.com/peggyratusz

Sunday, July 11th:  Alexa Rose Band Isis Music Hall Main Stage, 7pm. Virginia-born singer-songwriter creates her own style of modern folk with bits of Joni Mitchell, Lucinda Williams, and Gilliam Welch. Well-crafted songs explore timeless topics. American roots with modern country and a little rock and roll. alexarosemusic.com

Sunday, July 11th:  Many A Ship featuring Vickie Burick vocals, Grey Eagle Patio Show, 6pm. An indie-folk-rock band deeply rooted in the mountains of Western North Carolina drenched in inspiration from nature, humanity, frailty and nostalgia. facebook.com/manyaship

Monday, July 12th: Aoife Clancy, White Horse Black Mountain, 7pm. The Ladies lead singer from Ireland’s legendary Clancy family. Whether the songs she sings originate in the United Kingdom, Australia or Appalachia, Aoife’s seemingly effortless blend of warm, natural vocals, genre-defying instrumentation, and repertoire of classic and modem material deserves to make this Clancy Daughter a worthy inheritor of an iconic family name and an even broader following.

Thursday, July 15th: Love is A Rose Isis Music Hall’s Patio concert, 7pm. An exciting and critically acclaimed tribute to Linda Ronstadt, Paula Hanke and Peggy Ratusz belt out her hits in perfect harmony, while adding personal stories to celebrate Linda’s 75th birthday! loveisaroselive.com

Sunday, July 18th: The Appalucians featuring Aditi Sethi on bass/vocals and Angie Heimann on guitar, banjo, vocals, Isis Music Hall Main Stage, 7pm. They play music from the mountains featuring spirited songwriting, sublime harmonies, and a layered interplay between dobro, guitars, harmonica and banjo. theappalucians.com

Thursday July 29th: Songwriters in the Round ft Hannah Kaminer, Kathryn O’Shea and Laura Boswell Patio Show at The Grey Eagle, 6pm

Hannah Kaminer is a folk/Americana artist based in Asheville, NC. Kathryn O’Shea  is widely recognized as that Asheville-dwelling vocalist chick with the banjo and all the feelings. Laura Boswell Described as “a vibrant, wholly original, deeply personal young artist” by Grammy Award-winning songwriter Mike Reid.

Friday, July 30th: Ashley Heath and Her Heathens Grey Eagle Patio Show, 6pm

Winning the hearts of Americana lovers’ with a “velvet soul,” driving her career forward and playing music full-time since spring of 2015 facebook.com/ashleyheathandherheathens

Friday, July 30th: Blind Phoenix, White Horse Black Mountain, 8pm.

Indie Rock, American Roots band lead by Rebekkah Hilgraves & Chris Daniels.

blindphoenix.band

There is so much more going on with “Women Making Music” in WNC, so check local listings at Asheville Live Music!  facebook.com/AVLLiveMusic

Peggy Ratusz isa vocal coach, song interpreter, and songwriter.
For vocal coaching email her at
[email protected]

Spotlight on Caromia Humphrey and her beautiful and intimate EP releases: “Green” and “Sunday Land”

Spotlight on Caromia Humphrey and her beautiful and intimate EP releases: “Green” and “Sunday Land”

Nine years ago I was doing my usual surfing on YouTube for local female singers and stumbled upon a video that moved me to my core: Caromia’s rendition of Patsy Cline’s, ‘Crazy.’

At the time I was hosting a singer songwriter in the round, so I reached out to her and booked her within a month. Soon after, I asked her to play for the Female Artist Spotlight nights I was hosting twice per month. I was also fortunate to have shared the stage with her in 2016 for the Downtown After Five All-Star jam!

I’ve been in love with her all this time and it was my honor to speak with her about her two most recent EP releases, “Green” from 2019 and “Sunday Land” from 2020. Here are highlights from our exchange!

Peggy:
You said at the time you released the EP “Green” that it was anticlimactic. How has Green moved in the ethos since its release?

Caromia:
It was a combination of the lockdown, and what felt like a tectonic shift in the mainstream narrative of our country. It felt silly to try to call attention to myself, and ask people to listen to these intimate songs amidst a revolutionary moment. For both of the albums, the purpose and totality of my ambition was in the creative process of writing and recording them.

Peggy:
How are you doing now that both releases are out there?

Caromia:
I’m in a good place! It’s interesting to look back to where I was when I wrote them. I wrote and recorded Green fall/winter of 2019, Sunday Land in spring/summer of 2020.  I’m just realizing this now, but they absolutely reflect the physical seasons they came from. In Green, I was turned inward, navigating a dark time, processing grief, heartbreak, moving through pain, holding the weight, trying to accept I had to let go. When I started writing Sunday Land, I was ready to feel hopeful again…I was falling in love, I was feeling lighter again, reconnecting with joy. It was Spring after a long Winter.     

Peggy:
Musically speaking, what is your intention?

Caromia:
My intention is to create. I start writing, and the meaning comes after the song is written. I write and record in my bedroom “studio”, which is really just a microphone, Apollo Twin interface, some guitars, keyboards and a computer. I never write with the intention of releasing or even sharing the songs. Most of what I write and record never gets heard by anyone, which allows me to move more freely than if I was writing with the audience in mind?

Peggy:
This paradigm shift we’ve experienced is aptly reflected in your song from Sunday Land, “Shifting Shapes”. Was there a shift in your own thinking that prompted you to write it?

Caromia:
Yeah, there were some major shifts happening for me. The song is a meditation on the energetic reincarnation that happens in life; how we think we know what we want, how things “should” be, and get attached to the idea of certain fixed realities, “make believe that we see finish lines”… We often struggle with graceful acceptance of natural changes, and end up mourning them as a death of sorts, when it’s really just an energetic reincarnation.

Peggy:
On “Pedals,” I am thrilled to hear your voice take off, soar and land and play with the horns and vamps. How fun was that section of the song to experiment with?

Caromia:
That’s one of my favorite sections of the album!  It was just playful experimentation that I allowed to develop naturally. Adam Dotson wrote the horn arrangement around the vocals, and I had a huge smile on my face when I listened back to what he came up with.

Peggy:
On “I Was a Sailboat,” there’s a juxtaposition of it in relation to “Pedals.” “Pedals” is sparse lyrically and rich with meditative space with tickles and playful prods of horn riffs and vocalese. On ‘Sailboat,’ there’s a development of feelings and narrative.  I am drawn to the song for what I personally get from it.

Caromia:
I did write it about a specific storyline that was unfolding in my life, but I think it’s better to leave listeners relating it to their own stories. I love that you have your own story with it:)

Peggy:
I picture you in your studio producing the synths and sounds that meander in this one; I’m curious about the depth of exploration to produce it.

Caromia:
I probably spent the most time doing just that on this one. In general, I spend a lot of time experimenting with approaches, sounds, effects, exploring my instruments (vocals included) and softwares.

Peggy:
“To Do But Float” is the epitome of a letting-go song. I love it so much!

Caromia:
Thanks! Years ago, I was especially stressed out and needed an escape from where I was in that moment. I imagined diving into deep, cool, dark water floating weightlessly. The ‘weightless’ imagery has been sprinkled through my songs for years.

Peggy:
“Something Old Something New” reminds me of a 50’s tune brought into the now; which is cool, given the title.  What was going on when you wrote it?

Caromia:
I have no idea! Definitely one of those songs where I just write and eventually the meaning jumps out. It’s about the futility of trying to control everything, recognizing the parallel truths being simultaneously meaningful and inconsequential, of letting go, and allowing for joy.

Peggy:
I love the cover of Sunday Land. Did you design it?

Caromia:
My mom drew it! I think of it as a beachy dream wave, and she came up with this based on that concept. I love it too. 

Peggy:
What’s on your horizon musically and personally?

Caromia:
Lots of shifting shapes; literally and metaphorically. I’m growing a human for the first time, so my focus and energy is going into that right now. Who knows? Maybe my next album will be lullabies!

Whatever this magnificent artist decides to focus on musically, take it from me, it’s worth your investment.
Please visit her lovely website: caromiamusic.com to listen, purchase and attend an upcoming show.

Peggy Ratusz is a vocal coach, song interpreter, and songwriter.
For vocal coaching email her at
[email protected]

How To Avoid Common Interior Design Mistakes In Your Home

How To Avoid Common Interior Design Mistakes In Your Home

By Julie Rorie

Between selecting furniture, experimenting with paint samples or hanging art, there are hundreds of small decisions that go into styling the perfect space.  Even the slightest error in judgement can have a detrimental effect on a room. Use these insider tips to prevent a design faux pas in your home.

Buy Furniture that Varies in Height

Scale and proportion are the holy grail of design. If all of your furniture is the same size, your  room will feel uninviting, and uninteresting.

Think of your room as a cityscape and fill it with a combination of heights, widths, and depths. Rooms need a stimulating mix of scale and shapes to make them feel right.

Choose the Right Rug

Rugs can completely transform a room and create a focal point of interest, but it can be hard to judge the correct size for your home. A rug should ground the space and encompass all seating around it. An appropriately sized rug tells everyone “this is the conversation area”.

Living rooms almost always need a rug that’s at least 8×10 ft. to 9×12 ft.

A 4×6 ft. rug is fine next to a bed, or in a kitchen/foyer, but will most likely not work in a living room.  Area rugs should ideally be big enough to fit at least the front legs
of all chairs/sofas on them.

Be Careful Not to Hang Art Too High

Finding the perfect piece of art for your home is only half the challenge. The mistake happens when art is hung too high or in an inappropriate spot.

Hang art so that the center is at eye-level. If the art is to hang above a piece of furniture, hang it so that the bottom of the frame hits 3-4 inches above it.

Layer your Lighting

Lighting decisions might seem like a practical part of the design process, but it’s an aspect people
often misjudge. Lighting is incredibly important to any space. When lighting is washed over you from above, it can be unflattering and harsh. The best spaces have a plethora of light sources to create various ambiances.

Have lights on dimmers and from multiple sources at different heights, such as floor lamps and table lamps.  Always choose soft white bulbs as harsh fluorescent or white lights make a space feel stark and uninviting. Warm lighting not only sets the mood, but also makes a room feel intimate and inviting.

Try Placing Furniture Off the Wall

People often fall into the simple styling trap of this linear arrangement which is not cozy or inviting and can discourage conversation. In the end, it doesn’t save or create more space.

Try conversational furniture placement, which focuses on grouping accents. Pull pieces toward one another and off the walls to create more intimate, useful seating. If you’re unsure, play with different groupings. The most common layout is facing a sofa opposite two arm chairs with  a coffee table in the middle.

Julie Rorie
Interior Decorator, Closet Organizer

Facebook – Simply Posh Asheville

Instagram@simplyposhasheville

Email:
[email protected]

Asparagus & Sorrel Soup

Asparagus & Sorrel Soup

Serves 4

2 Bunches Asparagus

1 large bunch of sorrel

1/2 cup goat yogurt, or other

1/2 lemon, juiced

1 tbsp. brown butter

1 tbsp. sea salt, to salt water
for asparagus

fresh herbs, like dill, or parsley, for garnish, optional

Trim asparagus spears, leaving the tips and about 2 inches.

In a shallow large pan filled with water, and sea salt, bring to a gentle boil.  Place asparagus in the water, and cook for 3-4 minutes. Have an ice water bath ready, to submerge the asparagus in after cooking. This step will keep the color vibrant.

Keep out a few asparagus spears to garnish the soup. Lay in the center of the bowl.

Keep the salted water you cooked asparagus aside.  Some of the water will go into the blender with other ingredients to make the soup.

Take the vein out of sorrel leaves, and set aside.  The leaves will be kept raw, to blend with blanched asparagus.

In a small pan on medium heat, brown the butter until a golden color.

Put all the ingredients in a blender or food processor.  Add 1 cup of asparagus water to start.
Blend until combined and the consistency you like. Taste for seasoning.

Serve in shallow white bowls. Sprinkle with herbs if using.

Cooks note: If sorrel isn’t available use watercress or arugula leaves. Keep raw.

Buon Appetito

For scheduled Cooking Classes in Asheville, Visit:
LaurieRichardone.com

Women Making Music–Spotlight on Harpist, Jazz Pianist, Singer Melody Cooper

Women Making Music–Spotlight on Harpist, Jazz Pianist, Singer Melody Cooper

Melody’s talking voice is rich and warm. As we commiserate on the day I interviewed her, we begin by talking about what’s on the docket for her upcoming weekend of playing harp at weddings in Tennessee. I am soothed by her calm and inviting persona. Funny, because she was born in Brooklyn and moved to Long Island when she was twelve. While we’re conversing I think about all the people I know from that area and most of them are not as calm and cool as Cooper.

“The short version of my story is that I moved out when I was seventeen,” and then she pauses and asks “How do I tell a short version of my life?” We laugh and I assure her that she can give me the long one.

“My family was lovely, but Long Island and I were not a good fit. I moved out when I was seventeen and in with my boyfriend at the time.” That boyfriend had marriage and kids in his future plans while Melody’s path was one of adventure, travel and music. So it was goodbye and so long as she headed
to Toronto to visit a friend named Marguerite.

Now, Marguerite is important to this story because she’s my connection to Melody Cooper. Marguerite and her husband Joe and I became good friends after they moved here from New York many years ago. I’ve been hearing about Melody Cooper for at least the past 10 years!

Car trouble was the reason a fateful trip with friends that was originally scheduled to end up in NOLA for Mardi Gras, ended up instead, in Key West Florida in 1972. As Melody stepped out of the broken-down van, she meets a woman named “Sunshine” whose spirit so captivates and aligns with Melody’s spirit that Sunshine offers up her newly vacated apartment and invites her to move into it! When the other friends move on, Melody stays on.

That pivotal time marked the beginning of what would end up being a 15 year run where Cooper migrated back and forth between her apartment in Florida and her apartment in New York before settling in Key West. And all the while, she immersed herself in a variety of music configurations. Where she found time to run a restaurant, I have no idea, but she did that too!

Formed in 1998 and still going,
Paradise Big Band out of Key West was the name of the orchestra Miss Melody sang and played piano for during that time. She was part of a chamber music ensemble called Bach to Bossa Nova, and an all-girl fronted Motown revue called The Fabulous Spectrelles that toured London and had a #1 record!

Trained in Classical piano from age
seven, the inspiration for learning about, singing and playing jazz music started with a radio station in NYC that played entire discographies of selected Jazz artists. “I fell in love with Jazz when I was 13. I had a transistor radio and in the middle of the night I listened to a radio program that played entire libraries of artists like John
Coltrane and Sarah Vaughn.”

“I was just so shy and quiet that it wasn’t until my mid-twenties, that I started singing. I was really interested in singing jazz, but for a long time I was playing Jazz piano and singing solo soprano opera!”

“Extreme shyness” is an affliction she overcomes out of pure desire and passion for playing and singing to live audiences.  “I forced myself to take chances. Moving out on my own, traveling alone, solo gigs and pushing myself, eventually helped me get over my extreme shyness. I started thinking about what it would take to trust myself. I convinced myself that once I put my hands on an instrument or opened my mouth to sing, I wasn’t going to suck. That’s when the true magic and connection to the music happened.”

Most of her musical training comes from the tutelage of notable private instructors. “Instead of going through a university, studying from someone who has the book, I took private classes from the person who wrote the book.” She studied with Barry Harris, Alberto Socarras and Franko Richmond. For voice she learned directly from Emily Boyd-Lowe and Patricia Caceido.

She and her common law husband, Dan Simpson, met thirty-five years ago. “He’s a brilliant engineer, bassist, guitarist, composer and instrument builder.”

In the 70’s and 80’s Jazz, Latin, Motown and Funk dance bands were coming out of Key West. “Dan and I were in a band called Bill Blue and the Nervous Guys. But I started to feel overwhelmed about spending so much of my time in bars. So I began looking for other ways to make a living as a musician. I started teaching voice and I became the music director at a Unity Church in Key West.”

Simpson and Cooper have been coming through Asheville for many years on their way to and from 150 acres that Simpson owns in Palestine, West Virginia. After some bad hurricanes they started rethinking living in Key West. “So we decided to build a cabin on the property. We actually hand built it with 2 other friends.” For a while, they split their time between the cabin in WV and their place in Key West while deciding when to move out of Florida entirely. “We had the high end trailer with a studio and an upper deck in Stock Island, FL and then this cabin in the middle of the woods in WV. We called it the Holiday Hillbilly package!”

The couple remains partners in a recording studio in Key West called Private Ear Recording and Sound. In its heyday, they ran the entire operation. It was the go-to studio in the area for singer songwriters and bands putting out CD’s, theaters that needed sound effects for books on tape and more.

As the internet age gave way to musicians building home studios and with the increasing cost of living and the increasing intensity of hurricanes and storms in the Keys, they felt like they were spinning wheels. Before she and Dan left Key West to settle here, she was working 4 or 5 jobs and swore she’d never put herself through that stress and fast pace again.

“We chose Asheville because I knew it was a destination place.” When it became obvious to her, in her mid-fifties, that hiring a piano player for weddings wasn’t as popular as hiring a harpist, she bought one and taught herself how to play it! Within 6 months she was playing weddings regularly and has been ever since.

Melody has become one of the premier harpist’s in WNC and has performed at all the significant wedding venues in the area. She’s written a catalog of original songs for popular and inspirational music. And if that wasn’t enough she is also an accomplished public speaker and yoga instructor!

From her website: “All of this background has given me a varied repertoire, and a love for all types of music, roots to modern.”

melodycooper.com

Peggy Ratusz is a vocalist, songwriter and vocal coach

[email protected]

reverbnation.com/peggyratusz

loveisaroselive.com

Peggy’s May performance dates:

Friday, May 14th, Catawba South Slope, 7pm-10pm

Sunday, May 16th, Southern
Appalachian Brewery, 3pm-5pm

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