By JeanAnn Taylor
Here we are in February—smack dab in the middle of pink hearts, red roses, and true love forever. Everywhere I shop, I see aisles and aisles of cards, candy, and plastic Valentine trinkets. We are enticed with so many things to buy: things that will make us happy, things to fill a void of emptiness, things to make everyone we know think that we are perfectly happy. Most of us have experienced times in our lives when we have felt hurt, stuck, or hopeless. Perhaps a relationship ended, a career didn’t go as planned, or we grew up with unsupportive parents leaving us with feelings of doubt and insecurity. We look on Facebook, or “fakebook” as I call it, and see the blissful life of everyone we know. We live in such an abundant time, yet we yearn for more. We need more—to be happy. Except, maybe we don’t. Maybe we need to look inside ourselves and fix what is broken.
Being broken day after day can feel so familiar, it becomes strangely comfortable. Beware of this feeling! This “comfort zone” is not really comfortable at all. It’s important to not let yourself settle in there and make it “home.” Breaking through this brokenness is important because when we are happy and satisfied with our lives, we are more likely to achieve our personal dreams and goals. Our self-confidence can grow and our motivation to succeed can flourish. We can learn to be compassionate and treat ourselves as we would someone we love dearly.
I’m fascinated with the Japanese art of Kintsugi and the culture of wabi-sabi. The century-old practice of Kintsugi means fixing broken pottery rather than tossing it out. It can also be applied to our own emotional state. The technique involves filling in a crack or joining two broken pieces with gold-laced adhesives, leaving the cup or bowl gleaming, artistic, and unique. The technique actually emphasizes that the pottery is repaired from brokenness and is now more beautiful than before. Kintsugi expresses regret in wastefulness and the acceptance of change. Honestly accepting and acknowledging brokenness is the first step to restoring pottery—and people.
Wabi-sabi is a way of seeing beauty in imperfection. This tradition honors authenticity and can change our perception of brokenness. With wabi-sabi, the scars that come from our healing are valued because perfection isn’t the goal, wellness is. “Wabi” refers to originality and understated elegance, “sabi” refers to the beauty that comes with age and natural simplicity. Healing from being broken leaves us with authentic understanding, knowledge, the capacity to be happy and to love ourselves.
Becoming unbroken is a life-long journey and ongoing process of self-discovery requiring intentional focus and choice. We can choose happiness, to be kind to ourselves, to forgive ourselves, and to heal. During this month of love, celebrate who you are, forgive yourself, and fill in the cracks of your life with something sparkly. Change your perception that brokenness is permanent and find gratitude in everything. Be unbroken.
Please send your thoughts and ideas to me at [email protected]